mortal-apollo:

alrightanakin:

If you’re ever somewhere past closing time and an employee says “it’s no problem take your time :)” they’re lying through their fucking teeth it is 100% a Problem and you need to go

If employees are:

  • sweeping the floor
  • putting the chairs up
  • cleaning the surfaces
  • cleaning the coffee machine
  • locking/closing the doors

FUCKING LEAVE

And

yourplayersaidwhat:

*First session with the group and we’re discussing how the game will likely go*

DM: I don’t really focus on the whole ‘dungeon’ aspect of the game.
Player 1: So we’ll be playing ‘and Dragons’?
DM: You’ll probably die before you come across a dragon to be honest.
Player 2: Welcome, everyone, to the first session of ‘and’

oreoprince:

listen……. ‘my love’ is literally the strongest and greatest pet name in existence. there is literally nothin better than somone callin you that….. especially when things are soft and quiet and they look at you with utter adoration and whisper “what’s the matter, my love??” or “i hope everything is okay with you, my love” like oh my god?? let me marry you already