prokopetz:

prokopetz:

Essential components of any fantasy rolepaying group:

• The player who brings exactly the same swishy elf character to every table; 50% chance of wizard, 50% chance of bard, 100% chance of banging a dragon before the campaign is done.
• The player who favours dwarves because they’re uncomfortable with speaking in character and dwarves aren’t expected to have personalities.
• The player who thinks they’re cleverly subverting expectations by playing their halfling as a bloodthirsty, sexually promiscuous drug fiend, unaware that – thanks to players like them – literally 80% of all halfling player characters are like that.
• The player who designs their character purely for novelty value – like, this time they’re a giant telepathic praying mantis, or whatever – yet inexplicably manages to have the deepest character arc out of anyone.
• The player whose character’s stats honestly don’t matter because their real contribution to the party is being the only adult in the room.

More:

• The perennial orc player who you’re pretty sure is using the game as a group therapy session to work through some sort of identity issue.
• The player whose rogue’s complicated backstory and sinister secret
  agenda never actually end up being relevant in play because they also
  kept it a secret from the GM.

• The player with a penchant for Lawful Goodish warrior types who thinks they’re the adult in the room, but really they just have a talent for making irresponsibly dangerous plans sound reasonable – even to themselves.
• The player who insists on taking the most complicated race/class combo
  the GM will allow, then later discovers that the reason they can’t hit
  for shit is because they’re been rolling their attacks on a d12 all
  night.
• The player who rolls druids because they are a straight up furry.